Tag: silliness

I don’t know about you, but I feel the need for some political frivolity about now.  Or, to be more precise, I feel the need for a nap, but as soon as I close my eyes, my brain just starts coming up with ridiculous theme songs for political parties, so I figure I might as well roll with it.

So, in Victorian Ballot Paper order, allow me to present to you my totally unofficial and occasionally obnoxious list of theme songs for political parties in this election.  With thanks to my husband, who is generally barred from political activity due to his job, but I’m pretty sure suggesting cheeky song titles doesn’t count. Enjoy!

• Group A: Derryn Hinch’s Justice Party ~ This song by Shirley & Co is basically irrelevant to politics, but it is called Shame Shame Shame…
• Group B: David Collyer, Wanda Mitchell-Cook ~ The Times, They Are A Changing, and sadly, the Democrats don’t seem to be surviving the change.  Hopefully they’ll be able to start swimming before they sink like a stone. 
  
• Group C: Animal Justice Party ~ Dr Doolittle’s Talk to the Animals amuses me greatly, and will do here.
• Group D: Australian Labor Party ~ The ALP is doing its very best to disown its working class roots, so perhaps they need to be reminded that There is Power in a Union.
• Group E: Science Party ~ For Science by They Might Be Giants seems to have the slightly mad science fiction element required here.  Alternatively, The Future’s so Bright by Timbuk 3 seems to reflect their attitude. / Australian Cyclists Party ~ They want to ride their bicycle, and so does Queen.
• Group F: Palmer United Party ~ on so many levels, the Veronicas’ When It All Falls Apart seems to work here.  Just listen to those lyrics and contemplate this party’s recent history.
• Group G: Jacqui Lambie Network  ~ as Jacqui is a former soldier who is really into veterans’ rights and patriotism, Eric Bogle’s And The Band Played Waltzing Matilda seems like a good fit.
• Group H: Australian Christians ~ a pro-life party needs a pro-life song by a good Christian musician like Madonna.  Papa Don’t Preach sounds about right.
• Group I: #Sustainable Australia ~ this lot want zero immigration and population control.  Zero Population by Saturday’s Warrior is clearly the logical next step in this argument.
• Group J; Pirate Party Australia ~ only really one possibility here, and it’s Gilbert and Sullivan: I am a Pirate King
• Group K: Socialist Equality Party ~ billing themselves as the only true anti-war party, they clearly need Edwin Starr’s War song.
• Group L: Health Australia Party ~ they think that natural health and lots of vitamins obviates the need for vaccines and conventional medicine.  So I think they would approve of this song about eating vegetables, by Sesame Street.
• Group M: Renewable Energy Party ~ While we are on educational songs, it seems appropriate to include What is Energy by Tom Glazer and Dottie Evans here.
• Group N: VOTEFLUX.ORG | Upgrade Democracy! ~ This is not my kind of music, but it’s also not my kind of party, and the story seems to be that Democracy Is Changing.  It’s by Killing Joke.  The lyrics sound like almost all the independents.
• Group O: Family First Party ~ The Addams Family theme song may seem like an odd choice, but I feel it is oddly appropriate here.
• Group P: Christian Democratic Party (Fred Nile Group) ~ The Eurythmic’s song Missionary Man deserves a better party, but this is thematically appropriate.
• Group Q: The Arts Party ~ Arguably, any and every song is appropriate for this party, but Starry Night, by Don McLean, is about Vincent Van Gogh who, according to these lyrics, killed himself because nobody understood his art, a lack of understanding probably expressed by cuts to arts funding.
• Group R: Democratic Labour Party (DLP) ~ The Catholic offspring of the Labor Party needs a good Catholic song, like Tom Lehrer’s Vatican Rag.
• Group S: Citizens Electoral Council of Australia ~ I love that I can ask my husband for a song about conspiracy nuts, and he knows one. Soul Coughing’s Unmarked Helicopters is clearly the way to go here.
• Group T: Secular Party of Australia ~ What else but XTC’s Dear God?
• Group U: Australian Liberty Alliance ~ Haters gonna hate, by Tonite Only.  There aren’t a lot of lyrics in this song, but I feel that the chorus really expresses ALA’s values.  Alternatively, you could put on some Cat Stephens…
• Group V: Nick Xenophon Team ~ Pokies have been the ruin of many a young man, just ask the Animals, and stay away from The House of the Rising Sun.
• Group W: Australian Motoring Enthusiast Party ~ I wanted to go with ‘Oh Ricky you’re so fine’, but I reluctantly concede that Cars by Gary Numan is a better choice.
• Group X: Australian Equality Party (Marriage) ~ I think Same Love by Macklemore may actually have started as a marriage equality add, but I like it.
• Group Y: Pauline Hanson’s One Nation ~ Whiter Shade of Pale has completely the wrong lyrics, but precisely the right title for this party.  I refuse to post something with lyrics that actually represent the way this party thinks!
  
• Group Z: Socialist Alliance ~ You may say they are dreamers, but they’re not the only ones. John Lennon’s Imagine even rejects personal possessions.
• Group AA: Australian Country Party ~ In a Big Country, by Big Country complains about broken promises, presumably from the National Party.
• Group AB: John Madigan’s Manufacturing and Farming Party ~ our man John is a blacksmith, so how can one possibly go past Verdi’s Anvil Chorus?
• Group AC: Drug Law Reform Australia ~ I actually like this party, but Cab Calloway’s Reefer Man is too good not to include.
• Group AD: Voluntary Euthanasia Party ~ This song isn’t really about euthanasia, but it is a song about goodbyes.  The Carnival is Over by the Seekers.
• Group AE: Mature Australia Party ~ This party is interested in ageing Australians.  Will we still need them, when we are sixty-four?  (The Beatles, of course).
• Group AF: Liberal Party of Australia ~ Taking us back to the 1950s in a Time Warp. / National Party of Australia ~ I like the nostalgia in this song.  It reminds me of when the National Party were still relevant and not just owned by the Liberal Party.  I Love A Sunburnt Country, by Dorothy McKellar, lyrics by Hatch and Trent.
• Group AG: Shooters, Fishers and Farmers Party ~ It’s not that I think this group particularly deserve the glory that is Melbourne Museum staff dancing to Fatboy Slim’s Weapon of Choice, it’s more that I think Melbourne Museum deserves any extra hits it gets.  And Weapon of Choice is a suitable title for people who really love their guns.
  
• Group AH: Liberal Democratic Party ~ This isn’t so much a theme song as it is one of the many, many reasons I can’t vote for them.  Bang Bang, by Nancy Sinatra.
• Group AI: Rise Up Australia Party ~ I’m afraid this one is a bit rude, but that’s kind of how I feel about Rise Up Australia.  F*** You, by Lily Allen.
• Group AJ: Australian Progressives ~ This one was really hard.  It was tempting to just use anything by David Bowie on the grounds that it is Prog Rock was strong, but none of his lyrics seemed quite right.  We’re All In This Together by Ben Lee seems about right, I think, and seems to express where they are coming from.
• Group AK: Australian Greens ~ Joni Mitchell’s Big Yellow Taxi was actually playing on the radio the first time I handed out How To Vote cards for the Greens.  It’s still appropriate.
• Group AL: Australian Sex Party ~ Salt’N’Pepa, Let’s Talk About Sex.  Obviously.

And as a grand finale, here’s People Have the Power, by Patti Smith – it’s as good an election anthem as we are likely to get.  Let’s hope we get a good result to go with it.

(Feel free to share your own election soundtracks in the comments – we could all use some light relief tonight, I suspect!)