This is the putative title song for the ‘historical’ children’s show about Lord Vorthalia The Bold, mentioned in Lois McMaster Bujold’s novel A Civil Campaign, which you should certainly read, because it is wonderful.
To the tune of Pinky and the Brain
Chorus:
Vorthalia the Bold!
Vorthalia the Bold!
Legendary Hero
In days of Old
With brawn as well as brain
He’ll save the day again!
Vorthalya*
Vorthalia the Bold, bold, bold, bold
Bold, bold, bold, bold
Bold.
In isolation time
With villains great or small
When it came to fighting crime
He was the best of all!
CHORUS
He can fight in any strife
With sword or mace or hook
With a cleaver or a knife
He’s better than a cook!
CHORUS
When dimmer heroes fall
His wits will stay the course
For it’s known to one and all
That he’s smarter than his horse!
CHORUS
The ladies love his air
And in charm he has no peers
Though their families may glare
No basil pot he fears!
CHORUS
Politic’ly astute
The Council he could sway
For he knew that in a vote
Lord Midnight would say “Neigh!”.
CHORUS
When in a treas’nous plot
His rivals did conspire
He knew well that one must not
Set the cat on fire!
CHORUS
He’d an educator’s mind
In service to the State
To the Council he defined
The verb ‘defenestrate’
CHORUS
His love seemed doomed to fail
For his wife he had to sue
Though declared both Count and male
She was a countess too!
CHORUS
So watch and listen here
And you’ll hear the story told
Of a hero without peer –
Of Vorthalia the Bold!
Vorthalia the Bold!
Vorthalia the Bold!
His deeds are uncounted,
His virtues untold!
With brawn as well as brain
He’ll save the day again!
Vorthalya*
Vorthalia the Bold, bold, bold, bold
Bold, bold, bold, bold
Bold.
